Monday, 10 May 2010

Newcastle Trip Report - Part 1

We finally got the rtr team confirmed:

Mr Origami
Yorkshire Pud
Dream of Vegas
Snake Eyes

Just knowing the lads I already knew and haing been sort of aquainted through the forum and blogs with the others, it was always going to be a big piss up and laugh.

Anyways, I woke nice and early Saturday morning got my things together and all the RTR hoodies, packed it all into the car and was ready to shoot off.

Was making decent progress until I hit the M62 and then it was 50mph average speed checks for absolutely fackin ages, probably best part of 10 miles. sigh. Yorkshire bastards had aready put a hurdle in my way!

So plodding along getting a bit pissed off I decided to give Mr O a ring to see if he had managed to drag Dov, rubbish and Noshoes from their pits. He had it on speaker phone and I could hardly hear a thing, so ended up just hanging, but I did ather that rubbish and Noshoes had made it despite being on a most of the day bender in blackpool the day before!

I finally exited the M62 and hit the A1/M1 and guess what... AVERAGE FUCKING 50mph SPEED CHECK!! ARRGGHHHH. They were probably working on about 1 mile of road, but decided to put cones and speed check us for about another 5 miles... wankers. Bored again I decided to give Snake a call and see how he was doing. Apparantly dD had contacted him saying he was running late to pick Snake up and would prolly be hitting the casino about 1pm, typical dD, he'll be late for his own funeral that one, out of all the RTR meets, I don't think he's been on time yet! Anyways, I told snake I wasn;t far from him and would just detour and pick him up. I popped the postcode into the sat nav and bam, 37 miles, about 1/2 an hour, so fuck it I set off to pick up our bad beat bill!

After rattling through some country fields and weird village folk who all looked exactly the same, I finally got near Snakes humble skip. He decided to meet me at the end of his road because quietly I think he knew his mrs would probably be after a peice of the BM and tbh I wouldn;t blame her, but I could never do that to a mate snake so don;t worry yourself!

We then hit the trail for Newcastle!! Back through the peice of shit average speed checks, but it wasn;t as bad this time with snake prattling on in my lughole with all his tales of woe and bad beats. Seriously, he could talk a glass eye to sleep, absolutely top bloke though and when it comes to drinking i can only think of two other people who could keep pace with his and not be dead on their feet and they were both on this trip.

Finally we arrived at the hotel. I pulled into the parking space and was about to ask Snake for a lift carry all the hoodies, but he was gone, he was already off accross the car park to meet the boys. The bastard just fucked off and left me to it after I had the decency to pick him up from the middle of nowhere. Another typical Yorkshire man.

Anyways when we got there Nocash was there (with his shoes on.. wtf!) Mr O, Yorkie Pud and rubbish were all in the reception trying to check in whilst DoV was busy giving the charm to the receptionist, who tbh looked a little like grotbags (remember her off the tele?). he obv doesn;t set himself high standards.

We were told the tale of the blue midget smurf and the two fat geordie Borats. It was hilarious to hear and NoCash had tried to take a pic with his mobile, but had totally fucked it up and all you coul see was a blue streak..lolol. Quality photgraphy IMO.

I was thinking of something like this in my head:

We finally checked in and got our keys, I was sharing with Pud and he got into the room first and before I knew it he had pushed the twin beds togehter!! WTF?! I know I'm a bonny lad, but fuck me I gotta draw the line somewhere. So, I removed the beds back seperate and warned him I only have exit hole below the waist. :o)

We both got our shit together, a quick blast of the smellies and i went to see the other lads whilst Pud nipped out for a fag. A few mins later I return to the room just as Pud is returning and I shit you now he's only gone and locked the key in the room already! LOLOLOL. daft bastard! So he grovelling approaches Grotbags to let us in, which she readily does and we grab our bits and are ready to roll.....


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