Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Newcastle Poker Tournament Weekend

Been looking forward to this for a while now. Should be a top craic with relentless piss-taking throughout. The group of lads going are a top bunch, so it should be fun.

I wanted to link to my last Newcastle trips report, but it was on my old blog, fortunately I do have a copy of the report, so I'll post it here so I can return to it in future, it makes me laugh even now.

I sooooooo hope Mr Miyagi is there this weekend.

Feb 24, 2009 2:16 PM

Newcastle trip report

from Donkey Thrasher by BurnleyMik

Well returned last night from a great weekend in Newcastle and it really was!!

friday night got all my stuff together and ready to rock n roll. Only thing was I couldn;t get to bastard sleep! I tossed and turned for a while, knowing I needed to sleep as I would have to be up about seven and Saturday was gonna be a late one and ended up watching a film, The business, on my laptop in bed..doh! Finally got over about 3am.

Next thing the alarm was going off.. man I hate that sound! lol. So I got up and raring to go got my stuff together and set off to pick up Phil (Bullmeister). Honestly that fucker nags more than the wife. I was due to pick him up at 7.45am and was about 5 mins behind when I get the phone call.. the pillock immediately sets the tone for the weekend and gives it “sorry mate, something’s cropped up I am not gonna be ale to make it” hahaha. Thing is, as those who have met him will know, he has a very dry sense of humour and it’s hard to tell if he is kidding or not. Luckily he was just taking the piss as usual and was just keen!

So off we set and head off through Yorkshire to get to the A1. Journey was steady enough and traffic not too bad, so it only took us about 2 and 1/2 hours to get there.

We landed at our hotel “The royal”, which was an old style Inn. Whilst waiting to check in I get a call from Snake who is absolutely pissing himself about how bad the hotel, if you can call it that, is that him, Amatay, Cogs, Pud and dD are staying at. It was likened to a place of that film, Hostel! hahaha. Even the fleas were looking to move at at the earliest opportunity!!! Snake was contemplating moving to our hotel, but then decided to sod it off and stay put.

Me and Phil got our rooms and to be fair they were basic, but clean, which is all we were looking for as we knew we’d only get our heads down for a short time. We dropped off our stuff and decided we needed a bit of scran. luckily there was a butty van virtually accross the road, so after a Bacon and egg and a bifter for Phil we were ready for action!

The plan was to meet at Hammerheid and Ant’s hotel at 12pm and then all make our way to the casino. So, me and phil jumped a taxi to the Rooms Inn Hotel, which took some finding to be fair! We got there about 11.40 ish only to get a text that Stan was running late. I didn;t have Ant’s number, but the desk clerk at his hotel provided me with that…lol. I thought they weren;t allowed to give out details? Well this guy would have given us Ant’s room key had we asked!! lol.

Once I belled Ant, he was running late too! I then rang Snake to see how those boys were getting on.. ffs, they were running late too, but at least they were in newcastle! According to snake, Amatay and nick were not in the best of states after their night out around the Toon the night before. haha. I finally made a call to dD and guess what? YEAH..lol he was running late too!! hahahahaha.

We decided to make our way to the casino and told the rest we’d meet them there when they arrived.

Anyways, after a mission into Newcastle to find a cash machine, me and Phil finally met up with Cogs, Snake, Pud, Amatay and Nick. Was good to finally put some faces to the forum names. It’s always strange when you meet someone because they are almost never like you imagined!

Firstly Knightmare Nick - He told me he needed an XL shirt for the meet, so my first impression was he would be a big lad and also with the way he banters on the forum, I thought he’d be pretty loud. Instead I met this skinny, quiet ginger kid! Actually, he was only that quiet cos he was rough as fuck from the beer, but as soon as he spoke, you recognised that podcast voice from anywhere!

Cogs- Actually talks like he types on the forums! Saying fuck My Life and stuff all the time! There had been pics of him on the forum, so i sort of knew what to expect and apart from him being an angry bastard (I’ll explain more later) he was pretty much exactly as i thought.

Snake - Not sure why, but I expected snake to be a tall fella, well built (as for the rugby) and for some reason i had it in my head he would be wearing glasses. Fuck knows why..lol. He was actually shorter than i thought and built like a frickin tank! top bloke though and one thing i would say about Snake… NEVER get into a drinking contest with him!

Amatay - Just as i thought TBH. After reading his blog all these years and talking to him on MSN and the forums, he’s exactly as he comes accross. laid back as fook! In fact if he was in another life, he’d have to be a Jamaican

Pud- I have met Pud before and he’s just as insane as ever! His sense of humour is still as funny as fuck.

Anyways the 7 of us, set off to find them some breakfast as apparantly they were to scared to eat anything at the flea Pit! First placce we walk into and there is a guy sat at the bar, with a sleeveless shirt on, giving knightmare nick the eye! For some reason i wouldn;t have felt comfortable asking for sausage in that place! lol. Luckily, they were out of breakfast stuff… haha. All the puds and bars and we walk straight into a gay bar. BTW, that was Cogs’ choice

Finally find a place and they had a bit of scran. then it was back off to the casino to meet up with dD, Ant and hammer.

Back at the casino, we all meet up and we get registerd for the event. After that it’s just a case of standing about, taking the piss out of knightmare Nick for his “two pints and pissed” malarky and waiting for the seats to be called.

We eventually get into the game. I take my seat and decide i am playing the first hour pretty loosely, just to try and get a good feel of the table and get involved. My first two hands, i raised with AT and Ax and get no restance, but then it all goes a bit tits up and I keep getting dealt utter shyte, like J4. There are at least two calling stations on the table, but also maybe two players who seem pretty good. My initial plan goes to shit and i end up staying fairly tight.

I then get into a big pot with one of the calling stations, on a King high flop. We end up splitting when we both showdown AK ..fml! I then start to spew chips in frustration when I start taking flops, in position, with all kinds of shitty hands and just completely whiffing every flop. Thankfully we get to the next break and i get my head together a bit.

After that break, i changed gears and stopped calling in position and started raising more, but now i was also hitting flops well too. i.e. one hand i raised from the CO with Q5hh. Flop came 3h4h6s, giving me a top draw, I check raise another guy off the hand nicely. I build the stack up, without a double, from about 5k, upto about 16k, just playing a lot of small pot stuff. it actually felt good, my reads were right and my bet sizing was also good.

I liked this table a lot, but then I was moved to another table and the first hand on that table set the tone…

blinds 200/400, folds round to big stack who opens to 4k…lol. yeah, his opening raise it 10 x BB. This happens with at least two other guys. 3 of them, whenever they opened, it was 10 x BB. there was also a shitload of ridiculous over-pushing on rainbow flops, but nothing I could do as i was missing everything.

I made a couple of decent moves to pinch pots i didn;t deserve, then with my looser image i raise with AK from MP and the button pushes all in for about 8k. I insta call and he has AJ. Sweet. Of course though, with live poker being fucking rigged, the flop is QxJ and no help on the turn or river. I was so pissed off. playing well to maintain my stack and losing like that sucks.

So with about 8.5k left, I got into another pot. basically a tight guy, who I had just seen making a move with K9 raised for the second time in a row and so i blasted over the top of him with 88. unfortunately he had QQ and I don;t get a suckout. I am now crippled to about 3k with blinds at 400/800 and open push 66 UTG. Of course i run into big stack who has AA. Fuck lve poker! lolololol.

So that was my tourney over. I think i went out with about 80 or so left.

After that, i just wandered about having the odd dabble at roulette and 3 card poker. As well as watching lots of the all-ins and keepin an eye on the lads that were left. It was funny though because everywhere you went you could hear someone whining to some other poor bastard about their bad beats!!

I watched cogs at a cash game for a short while and kept delivering the beers to those piss-pots, snake and Pud! had to keep the lads fuel tanks goin. Cogs was getting angry as fuck about some guy who had called a ruling on him, in a pot where he had lost like £40 or something. he was also then telling me he wanted to launch himself over the table at some guy who was pissed at his tourney table too! hence… MR Angry!

Pud finally bust out trying to chip up or call it a day and exited just in the points in 50th. he then joined cogs at the cash game, eventually I decided to join and tbh i am glad I did. it was the funniest thing i have ever seen at a poker table! The max you could sit down with was £50. Directly to my left was a complete moron, who was so full of shit it was funny, but even better, accross the table was the most insane chinese fella I have ever seen! do you remember a cartoon character called Penfold, from the cartoon Dangermouse? well he looked like a chinese version of him. he had some Dennis Taylor Specs on and a fag, the wrong way around behind his left ear and a chewed up anorak.

honestly, everytime he was in ahand, he;d jump up and down, bang the table, point at people and chunter like crazy in chinese and funniest of all.. he loved ANY two cards!! I would say the guy really was on teh borderline between sane and fucking nutz.

anyways, i played a pearler of hand where I caught a bluff, when i only had king high. you can read about that HERE, the guys railing were absolutely pissing themselves!!

During the game Pud kept turning to me and asking if he taken any LSD because he couldn;t tell if this chinese guy was for real! LOLOLOLOL

Then came the hand of the night…

the chinese Guy (mr miyagi) and the Bullshitter got into a monster pot, on a board that read AAJJ7, bullshitter put in a bet of £60 on the river. This meant there was probably about £200 in the pot at that point. Mr Miyagi was up and down, he couldnlt sit fucking still. he kept pickin up his money and putting it back down, he was pointing at bullshitter and chuntering something, he’d pick his money back up then put it back down, he really was totally undecided. Eventually he folds, but he ain’t happy about it and then BOOOOOM, mr bullshitter, shows him 63o. Well thts it for Mr Miyagi, he hits the fucking roof! I swear i actually saw him internally combust. he slapped the fucking table , jumped straight up into the air, grabbed his fag from behind his ear and then put it straight back. he basically just fucking melted right before our eyes and then BAM he was off accross the casino floor! i swear to god i thought he was going to smash up the bogs or that he would be around the corner chewing on a table. That really did nearly send the poor bastard over the edge!

After all that though, do you know what the funniest thing was? it was the fact that Phil had seen his cards and Mr Miyagi had 84o!! LMFAOOOOOOOOOO. That said he would have won as his 8 kicker was good!! lolololololololololololol

Absolutely fucking classic.

Anyways, we finished up our beers and headed off back to our hotels. I think i finally hit my bed about 4.30am. next thing i know it’s 8.30am and my alarm is going off for breakfast.

I met Phil in the breakfast room and none of us could eat propely for laughing our bollox off at the miyagi show. Honestly the other guests must have wondered if we were a few slices short because we literally had tears in our eyes reliving the hand i mentioned about. Superb.

We then went back to our rooms. i got washed up and cleared all my stuff out of the room. We then decided to head nto the City centre and pick up a gift or two for the Mrs’s to cheer em up and ease our guilt for fucking off all weekend.

We then went back to the casino and had to laugh as Amatay, Snake and dD, our three remaining boys all sloped off to their car backseats to try and get an hours shut eye before the game re-started!

Ant, Nick, Pud and hammer all set off back early Sunday morning, all for their own reasons and me, phil and cogs stayed to bit of railing.

There was lots of ups and downs as Snake and Amatay got involved in a number of pots, both getting lucky and unlucky equally. Eventually, dD, the short stack ninja (man he just can nurse a short stack well) made a cracking effort and exited in 26th ( i think it was) .

We then had Amatay and Snake left and it was about 4pm, so me and Phil decided it would be best if we made our way home as it was unlikely we could win the event and with both being so tired, driving at night would have been a nightmare.

Cogs kept us upto date with all the goings on and at one point, Amatay had a very good stack, we actually thought he might go on to win it from there, but the poker gods had other ideas and he exited in 11th spot just before the final table. the good news though was that snake DID win a monster pot and went onto the final table well chipped up. I was trying like fuck to find latest updates from NPF, but apparantly they lost connection and eventually found out Snake had bust in a hugely respectable 4th spot for £200!! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP.

the points were then calculated and RTR had managed a 3rd spot finish for another £1600, so thats £1800 total, split ten ways as we all agreed prior, plus snake got a fiver off each of us for a last longer bet.

Congrats to the Snake on his awesome performance and also to amatay, dd and Pud, who also scored points for us!

A absolutely top weekend was had and we also have a couple of extra quid in our pockets to boot!!

A huge thanks to everyone who turned up and played.

roll on the next one!


  1. I'm starting to look forward to this as well Mik. Mind you, a Friday night with No Cash could see me fooked for the entire weekend.

  2. See you on the final Table Mick ;)

  3. Looking forward to the reports that RTR took the lot down!! gl Mik.


  4. Can't wait to get there!

    Reading that really puts me in the right frame of mind Michael son!!

  5. You guys run goooooooood!

    DoV tells me he's going for my nittiest RtR player title - that I would like to see :-)