March Round-up

March started out really horribly and only really picked up towards the end. So many times I fely like quitting, but i gritted my teeth, moaned like a bitch and got on with it!!!

Anyways, results:

CASH GAMES

Microgaming:

Played 23,356 hands for $494.40 profit + $521.79 rakeback = +$1016.19

Graph:

Everest:

Played 899 hands for $123.82 loss.

Full Tilt Rush Poker:

53 hands for $29.45 profit.


TOURNAMENTS:

Stars:

15 x $6.50 45's for the challenge for $42 loss.

Betfair:

4 MTT's played for $120 loss.

Staking: +$81.75


OVERALL:

+$841.57

I played 4 APAT events on Betfair, even though the software tilts the living crap out of me. Unfortunately no decent results there as of yet. Hopefully I might score a couple next month.

I also played the $6 45's on stars for the RTR Challenge, which went shit! lol. No where near enough to even out anything like variance.

A profitable month. I really hope I can build on from here for the rest of next month and not hit anymore rough patches just yet!

Looking ok now

With the end of the month fast approaching the recovery is well underway. I might be able to save this month thanks to the breakeven and terrible luck finally starting to be not quite as harsh. It's a fact that I am not playing much different to when I was running super cold, except now my big hands are holding when they need to and the difference that makes to your win rate and confidence is pretty incredible.

I am still in the top 65 in the rake race, but it's not too great, might end up with a $50 or so bonus.

Fingers crossed the strong end to the month can continue.

OMGWTF!

 I was searching for a funny pic to be a post saver and I ran into this:

Thats just fackin siiiick.!

Ok another post saver...

poker is good

...footy is shit.

just spent day on the:

watching Burnley lose to Blakburn. thanks to some piss poor refereeing. what a prick Mike Dean is. It was clearly a dive by Olloson. Disgusting.

Poker is goin well, better not type much more in this state, lol laters

Is it over?

...The downwing of course!

Things seem to have picked up a little, with me now booking a couple of decent winning sessions and the BR moving firmly in the right direction.

I was relly unlucky in a big pot last night when I had to shove JJ on a low flop (ended up committed because of my squeeze pre) and then got super lucky vs a maniac, when He min raised BVB and I called with K6s and the flop to come K26 and we got it in. He only had 22... but for once, I finally sucked out and rivered a King! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Hopefully now I can push on and I feel if I got through that really tough time I can really build on it. Fingers crossed!

BM

Can't get through it

STILL fighting like a madman to try and get through this breakeven stretch. Pure sickness IMO, so ridic shit, in fact mostly ridic shit. I get ahead, I go behind. i grind it back, my big hand gets smashes, rinse repeat.

blah blah blah blah blah.

I'll keep going, but it's getting tougher and tougher.

FU POKERZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Post saver...

WTF! - A winning night!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Got home from work last night and fired up a few tables. Was suprised at how tight they were, with only one table being over 50% players to the flop and not many with big average pots.

So I joined what I thought were the best, but in reality I couldn;t find more than 3 decent ones, so was just playing the 3.

It started off fairly blank, with me not finding any decent spots to get properly involved in any hands. I then pick up aces, a fish raises, I 3 bet the BTN, a weak player in BB calls and so does fish. Flop is K44. I bet both call. Turn is another blank, I fire out big, both call... At this point I am think about Kx type hands for them both. On the river I basically put them both in, one had only about $1.54 left or somethin daft. Both call, fish flips KQ and the weak player flips 94o????????? LOL, seriously?  He calls a 3-bet from BB and flops trip 4 with 94. FML. Pretty standard for recently.

I then had KK busted by another fishy player, when he called the flop with a double gutter and I set him in on the turn, which he stacked off to with the same double gutter, he had 8Q on a 79T2 board. Of course river was a Jack and I started think, of fuck me, here we go again, but then it changed.....

I was playing very solid, making sure I didn;t get daft or make any hero calls and finally turned it round with my set vs an overpair that we got in on the flop and then lots of medium sized pots that I kept winning, mostly without a showdown.

I finished the session $82 to the good, which felt like a bit of a miracle considering I went down fast at the start and wasn't playing a big session.

I spoke to snake on the phone before I finsihed playing and he told me a funny story about Yorkshire Pud, he'll probably share it on his blog, but Snake was pretty pissed-up after having a session in the pub with his mate and he was on his way home to play poker...ut oh... Running Bad at Poker + Beer =  Disaster! I then saw his post on the forum this morning: LINK

Not sure what the damage was for him yet, hope it wasn't too bad.

Don't forget to sign the fuel Petition if you are a UK resident: LINK

Now I just hope my running like a 3 legged Blackpool Donkey days are over!


P.S - I hope Bruce Lea starts to run better too, I know how poker can mentally screw you over. gl mate.

Fuel Prices

Enough is enough. With predicted rises we are going to get even further screwed.

Forward to everyone you know...


http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/fuel-reduce/

If we do nothing then how can we ever complain?

Post on blogs, forums w/e.

I am also considering joining the M62 protest if it goes ahead.

Big Picture

So after my recent moaning and whining about my run I have realised that my biggst problem is the mental aspect. After a bad session it consumes me, I get so pissed off and fed up, especially when I feel I am playing well.

Thanks for all the comments and I know people keep saying that it's only $200 (4-buy-ins) down and I am still B/e this month, but remeber, I was up ~$500 so thats actually like a $700 downswing (14 buy-ins), which is the way I was thinking about.

Anyways, I was looking at the bigger picture on Poker Tracker and since I started playing NL cash later on last year I have made over $4.5k (Including rakeback) and thats pretty damned good for an average low limit player with a full time job, so I really just need to stop letting these short term beats hurt me so much.

I am not sure how I am going to deal with the mental aspect of going on downswings just yet, I probably end up doing what i do now and just moaning on here and on the forum to get it all off my chest, because in a perverse way showing the world how bad I run makes me feel better just for getting it off my chest.

Once again thankyou all for your comments and reading, I am definately going to plough on through because the reality is there is plenty of dosh still to be made.

Stepping Down

Enough is enough. This horriffic run just keeps going and now I cannot hold in any pot where I get it in ahead for stacks. I seriously can't, I almost feel ill. Just played a 100 hands session, dead small, three tables just playing to pass half an hour.

After those 100 hands I am not far from $200 down. ridic stuff. I have 22 and get it in on a 2TJ flop vs a supposed "reg" who has QK.. oh wp you fucking idiot and ofc turn insta binks him an Ace for a €100 pot ($150). I got it in with Ajdd on a TdQx3d board vs a guy with JQ (for real??), yes he was an idiot, but of course I totally brick all my outs and he wins a $100 pot. I then have to fold to another reg in a 3-bet pot on a 9TT9 board and he check raises all in. He's fairly solid and isn;t doing this without the nuts, so once again goodbye dosh. blah blah blah

It's proper proper sickening stuff and it now feels like it is never gonna end. I just wanna run normal for a bit.

Anyways, I have decided that I am gonna step down to NL20 to play through this. I am probably just about even this month with rakeback, but I was well up and this run has totally crushed my soul. Not sure how motivated I will be to play at NL20, but ATM pride is the least of my worries.

I genuinely feel like I have been doomswitched, it's sickly bad.

Actually, alternatively, I might move some back Everest for a while or try somewhere else because I am thoroughly pissed off with this shit right now.

I'll have a think and decide soon, but right now I am too busy wallowing in self-pity. :)

Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind

Looking at my overall graph I am currently on a 25k break even stretch. I can take 3 good things away from this...

1. It's fairly standard. Most grinders suffer it.
2. I am playing well and getting coolered/bad beated everywhere.
3. rakeback is keeping me in profit, so I am not losing (yet)

Here is my graph so far:

Lol. I am hoping to get back on track soon as this suuuuuucks.

Laters

BM

The day after the night before

Tough night last night. For once I didn;t feel there was that much spew, just some really tough coolers and bad beats. I felt I played very well for most of the night, but still dropped over 6 buy-ins (about $320), pretty incredible really. Puts me back into the red for the month :(

I lost with a flopped set vs a fish who called a pot sized bet on the flop and hit the gutshot on the turn. I couldn;t put him on it as played and lost a stack.

I lost when i bet my flush draw (T9s) to the river and hit it vs a reg who had called me down and I shoved the river only for him to insta call and I see he had called the Pre flop raise with K4s (WTF???) not hit anything on the flop or turn, but still called me down all the way and made the bigger flush on the river.

Lost a big pot to a weird dude when i turned 2 pair on an ace high board and it turned out he had a set of aces.

Lost with an over pair tens, vs a guy who called me down with 3rd pair and rivered the 4 straight.

Lost a decent pot when i opened AT got a caller and the board camme TT3. 2 turn and x river and he mini raised me on river when i thought I was value betting him, only for him to have 33 for the flopped house. I mean fml what setups!

Lost another stack with AQ vs a reg on a AQ8 two club board, which i bet hard, turn was a brick and I bet hard again and by the river there was like $48 in the pot and I have $23 behind so i shove. He had 6c8C. he called two big streets of bets with 3rd pair and weak flush draw and obv gets there on the river. Fucking joke IMO.

I also got it in pre vs a fish with TT vs his mighty JQo for about 70 BB's. I flop a set of tens..weee, but he runner runners the str8. Pathetic.

All gruesome stuff and very little I could do anything about, just a shame they always got there with their retarded plays.

That said, I got it all out and now it's time to move on. A fresh session tonight and I plan on playing my best and hopefully will not run as bad.

Please please please leave me alone now poker gods. thankyou.

and the beat goes on

this is how I feel right now. I won;t bore you with the details, but's its fucking ridiculous.

1100 hands of the cruelest shit you'll ever see.

Getting a grip

After my last post I realised it was another pointless moaning bad-beat post, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.

I realise that this is the nature of poker and it can;t always be run good, that said that last spell really was a tough one mentally. I think I am through the worst of it and have even managed to get back into the monthly profit, which is nice, but I did make a few changes...

#1 -  I dropped down to just four tables so I could properly concentrate and focus harder on the hand reading in the tough spots. This was probably a main contibuter to me being back in profit. I also tried to nit it up a little more than I usually do because when you are not hitting anything it just feels spewy to keep raising pre flop, c-betting flop and folding turnb or just check-folding flop and in turn that leads to frustration, tilt and more spewage.

#2 - I played much shorter sessions. I did the pretty much worst thing a player can do when they are winning, is that I kept stopping to book a session win. It wasn;t about being scared of losing it back, but was more about that when I returned later to PT3 and I looked at my sessions, a number of green sessions (profitable ones) worked wonders for the self confidence and thats something I needed to work on rebuilding after the down swong.

#3 - I stopped hero calling retarded fish. This is something I am, terrible for when I have a hand like TPTK vs a retard. I bet for value, but when they say raise me on the turn or river, I don;t like folding to them because I basically have an ego problem of surrendering chips to retards, which ironically ends up costing me more money to these fish. lol. I suck. I think thios saved me quite a bit of cash too.

I am not getting as many hands in as I would like or generating the RB I would also like, but right now it;'s about rebuilding. Rebuilding the confidence, rebuilding the mental strength and rebuilding my BR. Once I am fully confident again I will step back to 6-7 tables, but with the the promise to myself that I will try and focus harder whilst playing.

Variance - I am a slave to it as a poker player and as such I must accept it, deal with it and try as calmly as I can to just get on with it.

I still have so much to learn about this game despite playing it for so long.

A message for you mr variance... ( I took this photo of Snake eyes at the last RTR meet)

Fish outta water

This is incredibly tough. After that insane heater single session, last night I play another 2k hands and lose most of that back again. It's seriously gruesome. At one point last night where I lost a big pot to an idiot my head went and I was very very very close to just withdrawing my roll and walking away. I am not fully sure I can deal with the massive swings. The hand in questions is a 3-bet pot and it all went in on a AKT flop, where I had AK and villain had AQ and he binks a Jack on the river. I lost a €135 Euro pot vs an aggro idiot on a AJK flop, where I had AJ and ofc he had AK. I had to lay aces down to a river shove, in a 3-bet pot, where the board read KQQTx, I got 4 flushed numerous times and it was just generally more of that stuff.

I am starting to wonder to myself how much longer this can carry on. I am not bothered about running hot, I just don;t wanna run this cold anymore.

Just ran a few random stats through PT3 this month.

I saw a flop with 324 Pocket Pairs and made 21 sets. Thats 1 set in 15.24 times. Technically you are supposed to hit sets about 1in 7 times. lol. Granted, I know it's a small sample size.

I am currently losing money with Aces, they are winning 78% of the time. KK is winning 76% of the time. QQ is 77%.

blah blah blah.

Been reading over the hands and yes I am definately making some mistakes, but the main problem in the big pots has been coolers, not winning the flips on both sides and just plain old bad beats.

I guess this is what they call variance and right now it's really really tough to handle. I just hope I can have as many good sessions as bad as if I can manage to break even I could live with it, but if I continue to lose money then I can't see the point of contnuing.

Jesus this is tough right now. I hate feeling like I do nothing but moan, but in reality thats exactly how I am feeling about all this shit right now, I litereally have nothing positive to say.

My Apologies guys, if it continues being bad I am just gonna stop posting until it turns around, no one wants to read depressing shit.

Laters

LOL

just a quickie from the mobile phone...

last night a was super depressed with poker. anyways snake fancied playing and skype'in so I agreed. First though I decided to add a little to my account to get back to a nice buy-in level.

now take this as you will but after the deposit, all of a sudden I go on a heater and win all 5 buy-ins I lost plus I go one buy-in in profit.

Not saying it's connected, but whatever, it feels gooot.

its a funny ol game.

Cold Place

I am in a cold cold dark place with poker right now. I am not sure I can beat the cash games. I am spewing and getting coolered/bad beat into oblivion everytime I venture to the tables. I just had a 3 day break whilst I was working and return tonight to lose another 5 buy-ins without doing too much wrong. I mean AA vs A4 GFY. it's all the usual shit, but it's completely killed the confidence, it's absolutely fucking brutal when everytime you get JJ/KK/QQ an overcard flops and you run into resistance. You bet your strong draws hard but they never get there. You finally pick up aces and they get smashed. You 3-bet and C-bet a lot, but consistantly miss every flop and get floated every fucking time.

It's so so so so fucking horrible.

I now don;t know if I just fucking suck or variance is kicking my ass, either way I am struggling badly.