Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind

Looking at my overall graph I am currently on a 25k break even stretch. I can take 3 good things away from this...

1. It's fairly standard. Most grinders suffer it.
2. I am playing well and getting coolered/bad beated everywhere.
3. rakeback is keeping me in profit, so I am not losing (yet)

Here is my graph so far:

Lol. I am hoping to get back on track soon as this suuuuuucks.

Laters

BM

The day after the night before

Tough night last night. For once I didn;t feel there was that much spew, just some really tough coolers and bad beats. I felt I played very well for most of the night, but still dropped over 6 buy-ins (about $320), pretty incredible really. Puts me back into the red for the month :(

I lost with a flopped set vs a fish who called a pot sized bet on the flop and hit the gutshot on the turn. I couldn;t put him on it as played and lost a stack.

I lost when i bet my flush draw (T9s) to the river and hit it vs a reg who had called me down and I shoved the river only for him to insta call and I see he had called the Pre flop raise with K4s (WTF???) not hit anything on the flop or turn, but still called me down all the way and made the bigger flush on the river.

Lost a big pot to a weird dude when i turned 2 pair on an ace high board and it turned out he had a set of aces.

Lost with an over pair tens, vs a guy who called me down with 3rd pair and rivered the 4 straight.

Lost a decent pot when i opened AT got a caller and the board camme TT3. 2 turn and x river and he mini raised me on river when i thought I was value betting him, only for him to have 33 for the flopped house. I mean fml what setups!

Lost another stack with AQ vs a reg on a AQ8 two club board, which i bet hard, turn was a brick and I bet hard again and by the river there was like $48 in the pot and I have $23 behind so i shove. He had 6c8C. he called two big streets of bets with 3rd pair and weak flush draw and obv gets there on the river. Fucking joke IMO.

I also got it in pre vs a fish with TT vs his mighty JQo for about 70 BB's. I flop a set of tens..weee, but he runner runners the str8. Pathetic.

All gruesome stuff and very little I could do anything about, just a shame they always got there with their retarded plays.

That said, I got it all out and now it's time to move on. A fresh session tonight and I plan on playing my best and hopefully will not run as bad.

Please please please leave me alone now poker gods. thankyou.

and the beat goes on

this is how I feel right now. I won;t bore you with the details, but's its fucking ridiculous.

1100 hands of the cruelest shit you'll ever see.

Getting a grip

After my last post I realised it was another pointless moaning bad-beat post, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.

I realise that this is the nature of poker and it can;t always be run good, that said that last spell really was a tough one mentally. I think I am through the worst of it and have even managed to get back into the monthly profit, which is nice, but I did make a few changes...

#1 -  I dropped down to just four tables so I could properly concentrate and focus harder on the hand reading in the tough spots. This was probably a main contibuter to me being back in profit. I also tried to nit it up a little more than I usually do because when you are not hitting anything it just feels spewy to keep raising pre flop, c-betting flop and folding turnb or just check-folding flop and in turn that leads to frustration, tilt and more spewage.

#2 - I played much shorter sessions. I did the pretty much worst thing a player can do when they are winning, is that I kept stopping to book a session win. It wasn;t about being scared of losing it back, but was more about that when I returned later to PT3 and I looked at my sessions, a number of green sessions (profitable ones) worked wonders for the self confidence and thats something I needed to work on rebuilding after the down swong.

#3 - I stopped hero calling retarded fish. This is something I am, terrible for when I have a hand like TPTK vs a retard. I bet for value, but when they say raise me on the turn or river, I don;t like folding to them because I basically have an ego problem of surrendering chips to retards, which ironically ends up costing me more money to these fish. lol. I suck. I think thios saved me quite a bit of cash too.

I am not getting as many hands in as I would like or generating the RB I would also like, but right now it;'s about rebuilding. Rebuilding the confidence, rebuilding the mental strength and rebuilding my BR. Once I am fully confident again I will step back to 6-7 tables, but with the the promise to myself that I will try and focus harder whilst playing.

Variance - I am a slave to it as a poker player and as such I must accept it, deal with it and try as calmly as I can to just get on with it.

I still have so much to learn about this game despite playing it for so long.

A message for you mr variance... ( I took this photo of Snake eyes at the last RTR meet)

Fish outta water

This is incredibly tough. After that insane heater single session, last night I play another 2k hands and lose most of that back again. It's seriously gruesome. At one point last night where I lost a big pot to an idiot my head went and I was very very very close to just withdrawing my roll and walking away. I am not fully sure I can deal with the massive swings. The hand in questions is a 3-bet pot and it all went in on a AKT flop, where I had AK and villain had AQ and he binks a Jack on the river. I lost a €135 Euro pot vs an aggro idiot on a AJK flop, where I had AJ and ofc he had AK. I had to lay aces down to a river shove, in a 3-bet pot, where the board read KQQTx, I got 4 flushed numerous times and it was just generally more of that stuff.

I am starting to wonder to myself how much longer this can carry on. I am not bothered about running hot, I just don;t wanna run this cold anymore.

Just ran a few random stats through PT3 this month.

I saw a flop with 324 Pocket Pairs and made 21 sets. Thats 1 set in 15.24 times. Technically you are supposed to hit sets about 1in 7 times. lol. Granted, I know it's a small sample size.

I am currently losing money with Aces, they are winning 78% of the time. KK is winning 76% of the time. QQ is 77%.

blah blah blah.

Been reading over the hands and yes I am definately making some mistakes, but the main problem in the big pots has been coolers, not winning the flips on both sides and just plain old bad beats.

I guess this is what they call variance and right now it's really really tough to handle. I just hope I can have as many good sessions as bad as if I can manage to break even I could live with it, but if I continue to lose money then I can't see the point of contnuing.

Jesus this is tough right now. I hate feeling like I do nothing but moan, but in reality thats exactly how I am feeling about all this shit right now, I litereally have nothing positive to say.

My Apologies guys, if it continues being bad I am just gonna stop posting until it turns around, no one wants to read depressing shit.

Laters

LOL

just a quickie from the mobile phone...

last night a was super depressed with poker. anyways snake fancied playing and skype'in so I agreed. First though I decided to add a little to my account to get back to a nice buy-in level.

now take this as you will but after the deposit, all of a sudden I go on a heater and win all 5 buy-ins I lost plus I go one buy-in in profit.

Not saying it's connected, but whatever, it feels gooot.

its a funny ol game.

Cold Place

I am in a cold cold dark place with poker right now. I am not sure I can beat the cash games. I am spewing and getting coolered/bad beat into oblivion everytime I venture to the tables. I just had a 3 day break whilst I was working and return tonight to lose another 5 buy-ins without doing too much wrong. I mean AA vs A4 GFY. it's all the usual shit, but it's completely killed the confidence, it's absolutely fucking brutal when everytime you get JJ/KK/QQ an overcard flops and you run into resistance. You bet your strong draws hard but they never get there. You finally pick up aces and they get smashed. You 3-bet and C-bet a lot, but consistantly miss every flop and get floated every fucking time.

It's so so so so fucking horrible.

I now don;t know if I just fucking suck or variance is kicking my ass, either way I am struggling badly.